The Relationship with Winning

Taking Decision-Making to the Extreme

A while ago there was a four-year-old ‘Zayn’ who had been drafted to the Arsenal pre-school academy -  Zayn pre-academy training.

In this video (it's 2:30 min) someone says ‘he’s better than everyone else’.  The question here is, is it correct to say this, yes he’s more talented but there are so many factors to this.  The decisions about the future for the kid are being made by others (with a vested interest).

Is it right that they've got a preschool academy and that they're taking ‘the cream of the crop’? 

I don't know much of the context, his upbringing, and/or the socio-economic status of the family

Zayn did say at the end of the video he felt older, compared to the other kids..But he's only four years old, does he really understand that statement? 

The question is:   who makes the decisions at that age? 

Surely it is the parents ….

Okay so if it's driven by his parents, what's their background, what's the reasoning, what's their vision, what's their intent?

I can certainly give you examples of extremely bad parenting, Jelena Dokic.  Her worst nightmare was her father but this was only after she picked up a tennis racquet at the age of 6. His attitude and behavior was disappointing, to say the least. She talks about this and her feelings in her books Unbreakable and Fearless

Yet she had a love for the sport throughout her career.

On the other hand, Andre Agassi was completely the opposite.  Though he played tennis starting at a young age, he HATED the sport, he says in his Autobiography, Open.  Andre’s mother said his father envisioned him being a tennis player long before he was in the crib.

Those are two emphasized examples where the parents made all the distinct decisions.

I don't know who's making the decision with or about Zayn, and/or the BBC report..

Interestingly enough,  I found this study that concluded the sporting repertoires most likely to ‘track’ into adult life (2016) are those that are built on early and sustained involvement in a breadth of different sports.

It makes me feel that for parents,  they really should let their kids explore the wide world of sports and hobbies.

As for Zayn, it makes me really want to have a chat with his parents.

Does non-competitive sport create better opportunities?

A Meta-anaylsis showed that if kids persisted in a sport they would get more enjoyment out of it. however, there were fundamental foundations to keep them on track. These were parental, coach, and peer support just to name a few.

Due to pressure do kids drop out of sports?

The real science of sport a South African-based podcast found data on young rugby players aged 13 to 18.  They found that there was a dropout from the sport of 76%. Furthermore, there was a dropout rate of 90% if you narrowed the margin to 13-16 years of age. One of their reasons for the dropout was due to their physiology and some of the kids not being fully developed. It is reiterated in this 2014 study the reasons these dropout rates occurred.  ‘Five major areas emerged: lack of enjoyment, perceptions of competence, social pressures, competing priorities and physical factors (maturation and injuries).’

The Sport Science podcast also mentions that in Sweden and Norway, they've made it non-competitive and in Norway, they have a 93% participation rate of kids in sport.

The idea of sport Sweden - a sporting nation  says this near the top of the pdf  “We are involved in non-profit sports clubs to have fun, feel good, and develop throughout life”

Have Scandinavian countries got it right?

So

Here’s a hypothetical situation:

If the kids/team know they are going to win by a large margin over the other team in ANY team sport, what happens to the losing team, do they become more resilient and bounce back? Or do they drop away out of the given sport….?

So my question to you is what age do you think competitive scoring should begin? 

Leave a comment below

There is certainly a level of healthy competitiveness which was illustrated in the Australian story about the golfing siblings Minjee and Min Woo Lee, which right at the start says that it’s very competitive between the two. 

The main themes were pressure and the siblings being yin and yang (introverted/extraverted, motivation) on the way they are driven and the fact that golf is such a mental game, trust me it has tested my patience many a time!

Again they were in single digits when they started playing golf and their Mum was a golf coach, I don't know anything else.

A yes or no question, if or when you've played golf, do you keep score?

The flip side

Jack Watts, a former AFL player (a team sport) sat down and had a conversation on The Imperfects  podcast. He said he had supportive/loving parents, a perfect childhood. His parents had different perspectives and ways of going about giving advice. Even so, what he felt and openly said is the amount of pressure, expectation and not wanting to let his parents or anyone else down was overwhelming.

Resilience to Losing

There is no current consensus on operational definitions of resilience. Is said by Comprehensive meta-analysis of resilience interventions researchers who wrote the study. 

So going back to the aforementioned title.. 

This is just food for thought and I know that at some point it has to become competitive to reach professional and/or Olympic level.  It's just where this line becomes clear…

Is financial winning the same as enjoyment?

A few weeks ago I read about the London Marathon in regards to the equal pay for people living with disabilities as opposed to people of non…

Madison de Rozario, the Australian two-time London Marathon winner said the move was a game changer for disability athletes. "We often say that sport is a mirror to society, but it can also be the starting point for much larger change and that's what the London Marathon is doing here," she said. (Read the full article on the ABC site here)

Now this is a phenomenal thing - way to go!

This could be a great initiative and incentive to get the younger generation into sport, which Madison also said. Being an Olympian, para or commonwealth athlete makes us feel ‘proud’ or so 79% say on Clearinghouse for sport.  I just found that interesting.

But, that's at the top end of the spectrum, what about the other end?

Only 24% of participants in sports live with a disability (18+), for further insight see Clear house PDF. 

What I really want to point out is: that between June ‘22 and June ‘23 the kids [from 0-14] who were more likely to participate in sport outside of school hours, came from a high-income family.   One of the barriers to participation is if ‘they live in a remote or regional area’. Click here to see insight.

One of the limitations is that they have no data for under 18 people who live with a disability. In my mind if we don't have it, get onto it!

Also, I wonder If the NDIS has better outcomes for participation rates..?

Tiger Woods is an athlete in his given sport. In my mind the best golfer ever to walk the earth… or is he? I reckon his son Charlie ‘will’ give him a run for his money, literally! 

This is an interesting short interview with Tiger on Charlie’s competitiveness and his enjoyment of the sport. What I'm intrigued by is whether is Charlie following in the family's footsteps voluntarily or is he being pushed? Tiger was doing all the TV/game shows at the age of 5.   His father (Earl) says they participated (click here to see) in anything that Tiger wanted to participate in . 

NB there is a book by  Tom Callahan that I have not listened to which apparently goes into depth about the relationship between Tiger and Earl. If you've read it, let me know what you thought of the book.

The question for me is, “Who is the real winner here?”   These extreme parents whose morals and motives can be questioned or the young participant/s?  Which brings me back to the very beginning of this blog regarding Zayn. 

My winning mentality ……….

Recently I was in a competitive Myzone challenge in the gym, Paramount HFC. So I'll quickly explain a myzone.  It's a heart rate monitor that sits around your chest and is connected to an app on your phone. In the app, it tells you the intensity at which you are working and it has a scale called MEPs (metabolic equivalent points that range between grey (50%) to red. Okay so now you've got the gist.

I won the challenge and absolutely cooked myself in the process over the 5 weeks, still, I’m here to write this blog, that was one of the many reasons I wanted to win. I also wanted to emphasize that the biggest thing was time, putting in the time even as a person living with a disability and having impairments doesn't rule me and or anyone else out. Intrinsic self-motivation, that what I feel is all you need.

I also want to illustrate that competitiveness can be fun even when there are no incentives to win, it was just fun active participation, challenging the inner self, then there's the social aspect, the banter and the fact that some in the gym said ‘you won't win’ fueled me even more.  I like that, that’s how I did Kokoda, people said I couldn't do it, so I went and did it. There was no prize money, not what I cared about.  Just the pride of self-achievement and participation. 

What is the real winning

Enjoyment versus all those lots and lots of factors in Competitiveness. Whether it be wealth, parental guidance, pressure, or glory, is it really healthy or can we find a better more equal solution. 

Maybe we’ve got to all be like Brian Nankervis on RockWiz.  Run it down to the last question regardless whose WINNING and just have fun!