The expectation

Week five in the brave studio.

It was an interesting week in terms of my filming world, with learning my lines and then when it came to the ‘crunch time’ in fine form, fucking it up!

I reckon every line I had to say to someone ‘line’ as in to tell me what my lines were, every time…

It was painful. But a real awakening to reality.

Interesting the thought process to find that real awakening was:

Is your processing speed still as slow as you were back in the first few years of your stroke? 

From thinking about it to comprehending it to spitting it out. It felt like time had slowed down to half speed.

The reason why I say this is when I was concentrating I was concentrating solely on the script lines nothing else mattered and when I said one line and then the partner (who was awesome) said the other line, I would still be registering and searching for my next line…

The teacher (also awesome) and I discussed it later and it worked out it was mainly the nerves, not my processing speed, well it might be a bit but not as much as I read into. 

I’ve watched the playback, there were some wickedly good acts and all I'm going to say about mine is it can be improved, it wasn't as bad as I originally thought.

One thing I will say about my lines, and I feel this goes across the board with speaking, I never want to get too reliant on them, they limit my confidence.